Pacemaker Fishing Forum

Ernie · May-07-24 12:07AM

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."

The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"

At that moment, I would have needed to clarify that men ponder deeply on diverse subjects, sparking further inquiries.

Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know? Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion: A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case.

Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.

drxfish · May-07-24 12:48AM

Two beers? No wonder you were delirious. Funny stuff..

Ernie · May-07-24 12:26PM

drxfish wrote:
Two beers? No wonder you were delirious. Funny stuff..

Well...I didn't write it but found it quite humorous.

It did bring up a memory when I was a catcher in HS. There was a runner on 1st so I was in my "get ready to throw to 2nd position". I called for a fast ball up so that I could throw out the speedy runner. The pitcher threw a sinker. I missed it and the ball cracked my cup. I picked up the ball and threw to 2nd and then, went flat on my face. I was white as a ghost. It took a few minutes for me to regain my senses.

backtofuturetoyota · May-07-24 1:05PM

Funny ernie!

I would say that giving birth is much worse though. You said it yourself.....after a few minutes you regained your senses. Some labor takes hours....and more! But if we were to do real comparisons.....you may try to poop out a 3 litre bottle hahahah!

Ernie · May-07-24 1:50PM

backtofuturetoyota wrote:
But if we were to do real comparisons.....you may try to poop out a 3 litre bottle hahahah!

Here we go again, bringing back memories. After my 1st knee replacement 22 years ago, I was on Percocet for a couple of days. What you describe above is what happened to me. Constipation on steroids! I almost called for an ambulance because I could not get that 3 liter bottle to pass. Never again! I would rather endure pain (another knee replacement and an L4-5 fusion) than take those kind of drugs again.

backtofuturetoyota · May-07-24 3:52PM

So, this reminds me of a real event. Years ago at Quantico....I go to the bathroom to my favorite handicap stall because it has plenty of leg room. And there I see I swear...a soda can size poop made up of little pellets that was lodged sideways. I flushed a couple times and nada....you needed a fork to break it up.

Years later my buddy who was there with me tells me about how he was constipated and literally pooped out a soda can size that he practically had to pull out by hand! I'm in tears right now thinking about this. I corroborated his story as I was the witness after the fact. Sorry...had to share!

Ernie · May-07-24 6:01PM

Oh my!

hookup · May-08-24 5:44PM

Must be allot of constipated anglers up at Johns fishing campgrounds - Riverbend.

Cuz and I stayed there a week and John would clean out the toilets daily with a shovel and a 5 g bucket. We decided to drop our loads in the woods and deal with the mosquitos

After a couple beers last night I got in to some deep thinking. Why is it always funny when we see a video clip where a guy get hit in the nuts and bends over in pain?

Ernie · May-08-24 7:37PM

hookup wrote:
Why is it always funny when we see a video clip where a guy get hit in the nuts and bends over in pain?

Because we all know.

Curly · May-08-24 9:45PM

I sent your rant to all the women I know! LOL

Last edited by Curly (May-08-24 9:46PM)

hookup · May-09-24 4:08PM

Curly wrote:
I sent your rant to all the women I know! LOL

You must love danger

hookup · May-09-24 6:07PM

Curtis & Leroy bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."
Curtis & Leroy replied,"Well, then just give us our money back." The farmer said,"Can't do that. I went and spent it already." They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule." The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?" Curtis said, "We gonna raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!" Leroy said, "We shore can! We don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!" A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked. "What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"
They said,"We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do." Leroy said,"We sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898." The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?" Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."
Curtis and Leroy now work for the government. They're overseeing the Bailout & Stimulus Programs.

Ernie · May-09-24 7:02PM

Pacemaker Fishing Forum

#1 May-07-24 12:07AM

Age old question...

#2 May-07-24 12:48AM

Re: Age old question...

#3 May-07-24 12:26PM

Re: Age old question...

drxfish wrote:

#4 May-07-24 1:05PM

Re: Age old question...

#5 May-07-24 1:50PM

Re: Age old question...

backtofuturetoyota wrote:

#6 May-07-24 3:52PM

Re: Age old question...

#7 May-07-24 6:01PM

Re: Age old question...

#8 May-08-24 5:44PM

Re: Age old question...

#9 May-08-24 7:37PM

Re: Age old question...

hookup wrote:

#10 May-08-24 9:45PM

Re: Age old question...

#11 May-09-24 4:08PM

Re: Age old question...

Curly wrote:

#12 May-09-24 6:07PM

Re: Age old question...

#13 May-09-24 7:02PM

Re: Age old question...

Board footer